Thursday, March 6, 2008

Not Without My Family

Written by,Bushra Syed



NOT WITHOUT MY FAMILY!!

Family…a group experience of love and support.
Marianne Williamson

Wait! Before you go further, don’t think that Iam being too eastern or over emotional. Just don’t think anything without getting my points. Trust me or I wish I just had better words to explain a reality which one may never deny.Atleast that’s what I have experienced and realized properly in these 23 years of my life, Pleasures of the family!
Believe me, my heart is full of pain right now, thinking about the time when I had any kind of conflict with anyone in my family and I ended up locking myself in the room or going to my roof top for a lonely walk and thinking that this is not my family at all and man! Why do I belong to this family which doesn’t understand me at all (I know I never thought like that by heart, I was just angry and hurt).etc etc.Gosh! Why I kept such negative thoughts for the people who always wanted the best for me, no matter how hard the conflict was, I shouldn’t have thought like this, Thanks to God! Some experiences in my life have made me realize that what my family is for me and trust me! I want you to realize too, before it’s just too late for anything.
Agree with me or not but, you can never deny this truth that whatever you are, it’s just because of your family. I know such situations might have occurred which might have forced you to think that you are so alone and even your family is not enough for you!
I do understand that you might have faced such situations when you might have been left alone and not understood just by anyone, not even by anyone in your family.Remember, never hesitate to have a conversation if you had any kind of hard conflict with anyone in your family. Try to communicate rather than being emotional, thinking of leaving your family forever or planning to end every kind of contact with your family!
My life, had many ups and downs and I can never guess what’s written in my luck in future, I guess every one faces ups and downs in their life of some kind or the other but, now the difference is, I hope I won’t be broken by any mishap (God forbid) if I had any as I have built up so much trust in my family. I know I got a bit late too realize but, still I know it’s not too late.


Besides all that let me tell you one thing, it’s basically the problem with the young generation of today that they get too emotional if they have any kind of conflict or arguments with anyone in their family. Alas! What they think ultimately is, “It’s the time I may leave the house!”, and “This is enough! I can’t live here anymore”,” Why the hell was I born and why do I belong to this family”,”I would have been living better with some other family “or even “I should better die!” etc
It’s clear and can be understood that how wrong the thinking is! if I had been asked for one wish to be fulfilled, I would have asked for “UNDERSTANDING”, understanding among people!.
Ok now! If you are still doubtful regarding my opinions, then let me mention some true examples to make you understand my point of views more clearly, Girls and boys! I just want you to be happy and want to throw that negative insect from your brains out!
I know about a guy who decided to leave the house as his father asked him to, his father had supported his elder brother and him financially for running a business and they had to suffer a great loss due to a certain mistake by his elder brother, his father, suffering in a shock of the loss, scolded and blamed the younger brother for everything.
Now here the father was on mistake, what he saw was just the loss, he should have said those words to the person who deserved it but what about that emotional son, he could sort out the things and would have cleared his elders everything after his father would have calmed down, leaving the family was never the solution!.
I know of a girl who committed suicide because her mother scolded her very badly at her certain mistake.
That girl just decided to took this action without even thinking how hurt her loved ones and God would be by her this action. Keeping the above example, I would like to request all the parents that please! There is always a way of making children understand anything. It would be nice to keep a proper way to maintain a better environment within a family!

I know of a teenager who left his house because his father asked him to leave the house in angriness as his father was hurt by his drinking habit.
The son didn’t realize his mistake but decided to leave the house; he must have observed how he has smashed the high expectations of his father,
I even know of a married lady who burned up herself and killed herself, after having a hard argument with her own mother on call.
What’s this? It’s just a big miss-conception which forced each of the above people to take such actions without even thinking about their family. You may find thousands and thousands of such examples in your every day life right!
Make sure that people who leave their house can never be as happier and successful in their life as they would be while living with their family and those who commit suicide not only hurt their loved ones but, they are also never worth in the eyes of God. Try to respect your family and don’t deny the greatest gift from God.
I remember I had a time when I was feeling so lonely but, then I realized I would have been broken completely if my family wouldn’t have been there with me.
My father: A kind-hearted, hard working and an intelligent man, whose love and support which he provided his family is an unforgettable act and yes! How can I forget his great sense of humor which always brings smiles at everyone’s faces at every gathering. My mom: A loving lady, who has faced every hardship just to bring up her children in as best way as possible. My sisters: the sweetest and caring birds for me, specially the youngest one, I don’t remember how many times I smiled because of her no matter how blue I was and My grand father, whose presence is still a blessing for us, he is a great person, writer and poet and I can’t forget to mention that he is the real reason for the talent I have, which I inherited from him.
Hey, now don’t start to think that Iam here just to blabber about my family and my personal life. I just want you to visualize the pleasures of the family you have. When you would, trust me, your family would be the best one for you.
Don’t leave them if they hurt you and don’t ignore them if you are angry, instead try to have a strong communication and spend at least more thane bit time with them.Remember, you always you need your family and your family always need you. If you face any kind of conflict with anyone in your family then try to solve the matter instead of making quick and emotional decisions.
I know the time might come when just no one in your family would understand you or get your point of view. At that time, you should just take a break, Take some time and give them time; angriness is never the solution for any kind of conflict, arguments and disagreements.
And yes, for those who have been adapted or they don’t have their own family, I can guess such situations might have occurred which might have forced you to think that why did they adapt me or why do I belong to them! please!stop thinking negatively, you belong to this family because this family was better for you. Thank God that you belong to this family.
Trust me, this is this serious problem with the young generation today that they are never satisfied with the blessing they have! Or they just start to ask questions to God if their certain desires were not being fulfilled. Look at those who have been blessed less than you! God is never your enemy. He does test human beings by different phases in life, learn to face and solve the problems rather than loosing hope and running from them!
Besides all that, I would highly like to request the couples who have become fathers and mothers that if you want your children to learn to love then its necessary that the relationship between the two of you should be strong and pure, it should be a relationship full of love and sincerity. You may have heard the saying: ‘The best thing a father can do for their children is to love their mother’; (the same is meant for the mothers too, in order to have a lovely family). I guess this saying would be more than enough to make you understand what Iam trying to say.
If you would think deeply you would understand that ‘Family’ is really one of the strongest and beautiful words in the world.
Family is really a strong bond of love and security, if you ask me the name of my best friend, I would say it’s my family, I guess it must be your answer too and there may not be any doubt about it.
A best friend shares your trust, supports you and loves you truly; I think you can get all of it in the best shape only by your family!

1 comment:

samreen said...

thats rightoo..=]